Sponge bath it is.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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