Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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