Sponge bath it is.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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