I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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