I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
