What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You can't motorboat a personality
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize