dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves