That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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