Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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