do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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