Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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