I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize