oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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