I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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