break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize