WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize