here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
