He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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