And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
