i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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