I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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