I think im going to throw up on grandma
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
