I got chris browned last night
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science