I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.