I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.