Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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