Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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