I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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