What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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