she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
