I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize