Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
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Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
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Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.