I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.