Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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