Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You dont lie about slip and slides
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.