mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
