Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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