mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize