He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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