Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize