so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my shit smells like andre
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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