the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
