I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
