forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize