Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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