Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
then he tried to convert me to islam
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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