All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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