Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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