I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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