i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize