So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize