i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
