Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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