we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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